importance of setting boundaries

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

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We live in a day and age that is extremely fast-paced and demanding. In addition to meeting all the needs of your family and balancing your work life, you also have a social life, and you may volunteer at your local church or non-profit agency. The number of responsibilities and requirements you carry can begin to feel overwhelming, and the challenge is knowing where to draw a line for your emotional and mental health. At Agave Sozo inner healing prayer ministry (serving Gilbert, Chandler, and Mesa), we believe in the value of self-care. That means, in order to live a vibrant and abundant life, it’s absolutely and undeniably okay to acknowledge the importance of setting boundaries!

Learn To Use Your “YES” Wisely

If you’re a people pleaser—and many of us are—don’t feel any shame in admitting it! But the problem with always saying yes is that it’s a vicious cycle. As the number of people who have come to rely on your generosity increases, the less time and energy you’ll have to spread across your vast social networks. This results in each yes only getting a fraction of the attention it deserves. Even the most extroverted person can only balance this kind of expectation for so long before the most important relationships in their lives begin to suffer.

When we take a look at the Bible, we see that Jesus knew when to take time and space for his own needs. In his ministry, Jesus continually had crowds clamoring to be near him, to be healed by him, and to be taught by him. Matthew 14:23 reads: “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.” If Jesus hadn’t created healthy boundaries, he would not have been able to minister when he was needed.

“NO” Makes People Uncomfortable

When the people in your life get so used to your love and support sounding like “yes” all the time, saying “no” can sound harsh and unloving to them. It’s easy to internalize their negative responses and feel pressured to continue the yes-cycle, but if your friends and family truly love you, they will learn to respect your no.

At first, saying NO may feel scary and potentially conflict-inducing. Whenever you make a change in your life it can be unsettling for the people around you. If you’re beginning to realize that you need to create better personal boundaries, learn to communicate that need to others. For example, when saying no to someone’s request, it can be a healthy relational decision to take the time to explain to them your need to establish boundaries. Depending on how deep that particular relationship is, explain as little or as much as is necessary to communicate your newfound need. The people who are unable to hear your heart and release you from their expectations may not actually be as interested in your friendship as you thought they were. And it just might be an opportunity to lovingly but firmly take their needs off your plate.

The Importance of Setting Boundaries

At the end of the day, this process is extremely personal. Only you know the relationships that are most valuable in your life. But we encourage you to value yourself enough to set healthy boundaries that will result in a freer and happier you. If saying no frightens you and you feel stuck in the yes-cycle, there could be a deeper issue at hand. At Agave Sozo, we believe you were created to live an abundant life and that any barrier to freedom can be surmounted with good soul-care. Make an appointment today and get the heart and soul transformation you need!

 

Photo by Juja Han on Unsplash (10/12/2018)



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